As a pastor/preacher, I often write and preach within the framework of “call and good news”; call to action followed by good news of grace, hope, peace, and/or love. Today I do not have either a call or good news to share. Today, I ask for space to confess.
I confess with all that’s happening in our community, nation, and world, there is so much swirling in my mind that at times, I cannot think straight. Within any period, I feel anything from anger to peace. To complicate it a bit, moments of peace, joy, and laughter is coupled with guilt and shame. How can I laugh with my three children when parents at the border are crying with (or because they are without) theirs? As a person of color, my anger of how our black and brown siblings are treated causes knots within my body, but that is coupled with feelings of extreme insecurities when speaking up (perhaps it is pride and fear of how I will be judged or viewed by the dominant culture). I confess that I have been more comfortable in the shadows of fear for self-preservation than to step up and out into the work that needs to be done.
Like Elijah, I confess that I rather hide and sleep all my intense and swirling feelings away. Today, I am reminded that my gracious Creator, taps me on the shoulder, wakes me up, feeds my body and soul, to nourish me for the journey ahead.
“Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, ‘Get up and eat!’ He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.'” I Kings 19:5-7
Grateful to be journeying with all of you.
Rev. Bich Thy (Betty) Nguyen
Metro Denver Faith Leaders Caucus
United Methodist Church
Together Colorado Immigration Committee